Intimacy Leads to Growth

Ken is a successful and ambitious executive in his 30s who became severely depressed when faced with the first major setback in his career. During therapy with his wife, Ken's personality went through four distinct stages of structural transformation, as shown in the graph below.

Vertical axis represents the daily self-rating scores by Ken on 41 parameters according to Lifetrack Total Adjustment Sheet available from His intimacy score rose beyond its previous maximum level of 10 during the 1st month of therapy, reaching 50 (5 times higher than his previous maximum) in 5 months. His self and achievement scores followed his intimacy during the 2nd and 3rd month catching up during the 4th month of therapy.


A Closer Look at How Intimacy Leads to Growth

Structural transformation (growth) of personality -- the way we think, feel and act in the three key spheres of our lives (self, intimacy and achievement) -- occurs typically in four stages when Lifetrack therapy is highly successful.

Stage 1 : In acute distress, the self and achievement spheres are collapsed, and the intimacy sphere is relatively more preserved. In this condition of desperation, we are more accessible to help. Some highly independent-minded individuals may further withdraw into themselves instead of reaching out, complicating the process of recovery and growth.

Stage 2 :If an appropriate partner is available, intimacy may dramatically increase, in part thanks to the collapse of the usually dominant self and achievement spheres. This is a painful stage in which considerable resistance against escalating closeness occurs, and stress symptoms often worsen. Sometimes, to make a breakthrough in the intimacy sphere, professional help is necessary to help individuals overcome formidable resistance. Too often, in a well-meaning attempt to reduce immediate distress, the rare opportunity for a breakthrough in the intimacy sphere and for meaningful growth in personality is lost.

Stage 3 : Once the intimacy sphere reaches a sufficiently high level, far beyond the previous best level, the self and achievement spheres begin to recover because resistance -- distressful symptoms -- disappears. This is an exciting and happy stage in which the self and achievement spheres rapidly improve beyond their previous best levels as they catch up with the intimacy sphere that has already advanced far ahead and continues to improve.

Stage 4 : The self, intimacy and achievement spheres balance at a much higher level than before and continue to advance together. This is the ideal state in which the individual has the optimal preparation to face future challenges in life.

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